I thought I was so sure of my sexuality. I thought I finally figured it out. Now I’m not so sure. First I thought I was straight, then I thought I was gay, then I thought I was bi, now I have no idea. I’m caught somewhere between gay and bi. It’s not that I don’t like girls, because they’re…Hey, that is me when I was eighteen/nineteen! The answer, for a guy at least, should be easy because the real question, in the end, is: who are in the fantasies or images that give you a boner? Boys or girls?Now my problem - when I was a teenager - was that my masturbatory fantasies were largely of girls with me starring in a supporting and submissive role. I loved the idea - and I still do! - of girls dominating me, physically overpowering me, tying me down, forcing me to eat pussy, etc. So all my girlfriends were older than me and, without exception, taller than average, very fit, and emotionally much stronger and more confident. And I liked it that way.The summer when I turned 14 my girlfriend down as the lake was, I remember, 16 and about as strong as I was. Fuck did I love to play wrestle with that girl - and lose! And she seemed to like coming out on top as much as I liked losing.But when I was about eighteen, I became aware (and it was both a revelation and a shock I can tell you) that even though my sexual fantasies were primarily involving girls, it was the image of the male body that left me achingly aroused. The female body, by itself, didn’t create the same reaction; it was that act of submission to a stronger woman that excited me, not her body. Almost all of my friends tell me that they knew they were gay before they turned eight years old. Or, at least, they knew they were somehow different than the other little boys. But I didn’t really know I was gay - instead of a straight man with some homosexual impulses - until I was nineteen. (Or, if you wish, you can argue that I was in denial until then, but I don’t think that was the case.)But I still like girls and I still sexually desire girls. But not so much as I do boys. And I still get hard thinking about the girls that I’ve fucked in the past, but it’s been over a year since my last time. And I still retain an emotional attachment to females. I can easily see myself in a romantic and sexual relationship with a woman.Does this make me bi? I don’t think so - mostly because I hardly now ever act on those heterosexual impulses. (In six years there’s only been three occasions where I’ve had some form of sex with a female.) But a lot of my friends say it does mean I’m bi. In the end, I think, the terms “gay”, “straight”, and “bi” are simply points on a continuum of sexual desire. There are straights who are so damn straight that the idea of even touching another guy’s dick is unthinkable and sickening. And there are gay friends of mine who get physically ill at the thought of a vagina, never mind a picture of one. And then there’s the majority of us somewhere in between. I’m far enough over to the gay side that I no longer think of myself as bi-sexual. But everyone is different, and it’s a matter of each person defining him or herself on that sexual continuum. And how you define yourself - gay, bi, or straight - is unimportant as long as you remain true to your real nature.